My Friends

The other day I was on my morning run. I’m a creature of habit, so I do pretty much the same route, with some slight variations from day to day. So I pass by a lot of the same people, but we never really acknowledge one another. The other day though, I ran by this woman I see most mornings, sweeping the sidewalk in front of her house and she said hi and told me how nice it was that I ran and she told me to never stop. I was so happy! In addition to being called out in a fitness class for having good form, moments like this are what I live for. I now say hi to her every time I see her.

I’ve always loved interactions like this, being recognized and remembered. When I was in 7th grade I would have the same lunch, a slice of pizza, french fries, a fruitopia drink and for dessert I would get a chocolate eclair ice cream bar. This lunch was considered normal to me. I would buy the chocolate eclair from a separate snack counter after I finished my pizza and fries. Eventually the lunch lady there remembered me and I wouldn’t have to say anything. She would just run and grab my order as soon as I got to the front of the line. I felt so special.

Having friendships in these seemingly mundane daily interactions makes the world feel smaller and less scary. Aside from the woman I see on my runs, I don’t have many of these relationships in Los Angeles. But in New York my days were filled with them! I knew my neighbors and had so many neighborhood friends. I think about them often and miss them a lot. I don’t ever want to forget about them. So here are some of my favorite neighborhood friends:

Bobby

Bobby was 79 years old and lived down the street from me in Greenpoint. When I first saw him, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. I would see him walking around all the time and a lot of the time he’d be singing to himself . But one day I was getting back from my morning run and he was walking by my apartment. He stopped to tell me he exercised too and showed me the veins on his arms. I told him I was impressed. He then told me he was going to the doctor to get some bloodwork and he was scared. I assured him it would be okay. And from then on we were friends. He was always walking around and so was I. Every time I saw him, he would be going to one of three places, McDonald’s, Associated or D2. D2 is the most incredible store in Greenpoint. It’s essentially a dollar store, but they have shirts like this:

Bobby once got me a necklace and earring set from there. I have yet to wear it, but I can’t throw it out.

A week before I was moving out of the city, I sprained my ankle and couldn’t walk. I was devastated, because I knew without my daily walks, I probably wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Bobby. And I was right. I was heartbroken and felt like I was leaving a piece of myself in the city. Thankfully, when I went back a couple months later, I saw him walking by my old apartment. I told him I was moving to Los Angeles. He was happy for me and wished me luck. Whenever I see a little old man crossing the street, I think of him and wonder how he’s doing.

Cashier at Associated

There was an Associated close to our apartment that became one of the 4 grocery stores we would shop at every day. There was a cashier there that, for whatever reason, really liked me. And she always made me feel so good about myself. She once told me that people must be jealous of me because I look so youthful. There is not a single person in the world who is jealous of me, but it was nice to imagine. Another time she told me she wanted to go to a rave, she said it just felt like a good day for a rave. When my husband would shop with me she would completely ignore him. Even when he would pay for the groceries, she would give me the receipt as if I was the one in charge. I would make a point to go to her line, even if it meant waiting longer. Associated wasn’t the greatest grocery store, but when I shopped there I felt like a star.

Nathan’s Farm manager

Nathan’s Farm was across the street from Associated and was one of the 4 grocery stores that I would shop at every day. The manager there loved my purse and who could blame her? She’s adorable!

Here she is being perfect and holding a container of cottage cheese

The manager there would compliment my purse and she’d compliment me too. We would always chat when I came into the store, but what I loved about her was that she would chat with everyone! Watching her talk to customers, it was clear that she made everyone feel like they were truly valued and treasured. Once after she rang up my groceries, I took out my purse to grab my wallet and her eyes lit up and she said she loved it. I think she felt bad for not including me, so she said she loved me as well. I told her I loved her too and I meant it.

My Mailman

I loved my mail carrier in Greenpoint. He was so nice and smiley! Our interactions were brief, but perfect. He would say “Hi. How’s it going?” I would say, “Hi! Good. How are you?” “Good. Good.” He’d say. This daily exchange was grounding and made me feel like I was living in Mr. Roger’s neighborhood. I am trying to cultivate this relationship with my mail carrier now, but she doesn’t give a shit about me!!

CVS pharmacist

Not trying to brag, but I did have a prescription to pick up monthly at the CVS on Manhattan Ave. When you pick up medication you have to tell your pharmacist your birthday and in doing so, we discovered that we had the same birthday. Every year we would commiserate about having a Winter birthday and not wanting to do anything. On her 40th I convinced her to go on a weekend trip to Florida. The following year, I saw her the day after our birthday crossing Greenpoint Avenue and we both said “Happy Birthday!” at the same time. It was an incredible moment and was the best part of my birthday (It was a bad year).

People in Los Angeles are different and I find myself feeling more closed off because of it. In New York, I walked around with a smile and an open heart. But I’m starting to realize, I walked around with that energy, because of my neighborhood friends. They made the city feel like home and I’m determined to find this in Los Angeles.